A False Sense Of Security

A long while back, I wrote a post about how my depression and anxiety were “just gone” and how it was a miracle that after just a month in college, I had completely gotten over all of my problems.

Well, shortly after that, I started feeling that my depression meds were causing me to be overly happy and so, after consulting with my psychiatrist, I decided to stop the meds.

For a while after that, everything was great. I was functioning normally, my anxiety wasn’t bad, and I was generally feeling happy.

But then I started slipping back into my depression. Eventually, I was forced to go back on my meds.

When I talked to my psychiatrist about this, she told me something that I thought was important enough to share. She asked me to describe what I meant by “overly happy” and when I did, she explained to me that what I thought was euphoria was really me just feeling normal.

The thing is, I had had depression for so long by that point that I had forgotten what it was like to go through the world without being constantly depressed and anxious, so much so that once those feelings had been alleviated a bit, I considered my feelings abnormal.

So I just wanted to warn people who might be in the same predicament as me that they might not be doing as well as they’re led to believe. What we (people who have suffered through depression, anxiety, or other illnesses) might consider abnormal behavior (feeling too happy, too confident, etc) is likely what people around us might consider just normal.

So please, don’t be like me: don’t stop helping yourself as soon as you feel better than (what you know as) normal.

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