So as I have previously mentioned, and will continue to mention, I have just started college. It’s my first time being away from home, my first time living with a roommate, my first time going to bars and parties, and basically my first time doing a lot of things.
Theoretically, this should be a very stressful time for me. I’m in a new environment, and I no longer have the direct support my parents offered me when I was back home. And considering I had crippling anxiety in high school, I was really worried about all of this.
I was especially worried about making friends. With my social anxiety, I was worried that I would stay holed up in my room and miss out on all the things that make college college.
But once I moved in and settled down, something weird happened. My social anxiety just sort of melted away.
And when I say melted away, I mean it. The change was literally overnight. One night I was in a hotel room, worrying about how I was going to make friends. The next day, I was introducing myself to people in the elevator, joking with people, and generally enjoying myself. My social anxiety disappeared in the course of twelve hours.
And to be honest, this feeling is sort of weird. I’ve had anxiety for so long that I can’t really remember a time when I felt this free. Even worse, there’s a little part of me that’s sort of worried that I haven’t felt that anxious.
But on the other hand, for now, I’m going to go with the flow and be thankful that I’m not experiencing my normal levels of anxiety.