It’s that time of the year again: football.
And with the new football season comes a new fantasy season.
This will be my second year playing fantasy football. I’m in a league composed almost entirely of my family (a few cousins, some uncles, etc.), and my father and I are sharing a team. Over the next few weeks, I plan on chronicling my journey through this fantasy season which hopefully I won’t lose.
As I mentioned, last year I also was playing fantasy. And it started off pretty great. During the draft, we (my dad and I) got Marshawn Lynch, Ben Roethlisberger, Stephen Gostkowski, and Seattle’s defense. So my dad and I were feeling pretty good about our playoff chances. We named our team ‘Poultry in Motion’ and waited for the first game.
First game: we did well, but my soon-to-be cousin crushed us. It turns out that you can get 95 points and still lose pretty badly when the other person gets close to 150.
And then everything went wrong. Half the team got badly injured and spent a few weeks on the bench. Everyone who was left was on bye on the same week. We started panicking.
Halfway through the season, we realized that we were not getting to the playoffs, so we did the next best thing. We changed our name to ‘Les Miserables’ and decided to go for the $25 consolation prize for last place. It was a tight race that hinged on the last game (where one of our nobody tight ends got over 20 points and nearly cost us $25) but we still came out on the bottom.
But that was last season. This is a brand new season. And already, we’re repeating history.
I wasn’t actually able to participate in the draft. Since I recently moved to Canada, Yahoo wouldn’t let me log in to my account. So I spent draft night banging my head on a wall as I waited from news from my dad. Finally, I got the full lineup.
Quarterback: Ben Roethlisberger (Pittsburgh), again.
On the bench: Matthew Stafford (Detroit)
Wide Receivers: DeAndre Hopkins (Houston), Keenan Allen (San Diego), and DeSean Jackson (Washington)
On the bench: Sterling Shepard
Running Backs: Ryan Matthews (Philadelphia) and James White (New England)
On the bench: Isaiah Crowell (Cleveland), Jamaal Charles (Kansas City), and Darren Sproles (Philadelphia)
Tight Ends: Delanie Walker (Tennessee)
On the bench: Clive Walford (Oakland)
Kicker: Blair Walsh (Minnesota)
So a pretty good draft, right? And yet it wasn’t enough this week.
It didn’t help that the running back we were planning on starting (Jamaal Charles) decided to injure himself, leaving us with James White as a starter. But then our tight end decided to play terribly, getting himself a stellar four points.
And to make matters worse, Keenan Allen (who was having a great game) injured himself in the middle of the game. He wasn’t able to get all the points he could have gotten, and now he’s listed as questionable.
So when I logged in a few hours ago, I was in for a bit of a shock:
I’m the one on the left.
Now, to be fair, Roethlisberger still hasn’t played yet. But neither has Carson Palmer, my cousin’s quarterback.
This is also a rather old picture. Since then, I managed to claw my way up to 50.10 points. My cousin is at 90.70 points. She’s now projected to get around 110.
At this rate, I’m going to have to give up next week, especially if my other cousin keeps playing like this:
Just so you know, his opponent is supposed to get 110 points.
And so that’s the news from the first week of fantasy. Next week, I’m sure that I’m going to be writing all about how our kicker is injured or something. But until then, happy football.
And to anyone who got the Galavant reference in the title, you are my new favorite person.
Update: I just found out that Keenan Allen will probably be out for the season with a torn ACL. The Les Miserables tradition carries on.