My Own Worst Enemy

I am my own worst enemy.

There have been too many times when I have told myself that I am worthless. That I will never amount to anything. I’m not funny, I’m selfish, I’m rude, I’m dumb, I’m annoying. The list goes on and on and on and on.

For years now I’ve been so scared of being labeled this way by other people, but slowly I’ve realized that I am the only one who thinks these things about me. And it’s this attitude more than anything that has contributed to my anxiety and depression.

The amazing thing is, when “friends” say those things about me, I immediately cut them out of my life. But when it’s coming from me…the insults feel more real. For some reason I view myself as the only credible source when it comes to my personal qualities. I’m not. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have the ability (or the presence of mind) to take a step back and judge myself objectively. And that’s why I’m my own worst enemy. I refuse to give myself a break.

And if you’re like me, it might seem hopeless right now. You might be thinking terrible things about yourself. But it’s important to give yourself a break and appreciate your good qualities. That’s why I’ve promised myself to write down one good thing about me every day until I learn to treat myself the way I (at least try to) treat others.

-cmblanc

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